Archive for May, 2010

Write one leaf about making a mix tape

May 1, 2010

So my ex made me cds. I always told him there was a cd I wanted to get, and the next day he’d surprise me with a burned copy of the cd I had been talking about.

I felt guilty for never giving him anything, so I decided to make him a “mix tape” (cd actually lol). I worked on it for hours one night. I wanted it to be perfect! I wanted every song to mean as much to him as he meant to me. I didn’t think it was done that night, so I just left it and said I’d come back to it. A week went by and we barely talked at all. Instead he wrote me notes. This made me kind of upset but I thought I’d finish the cd and give it to him. And idk…

Either way I thought we would be able to fix things. I burned the cd and put it in my backpack with intentions of giving it to im the next day. The days came and went and he stopped writing to me even. Things got akward between us, and I snapped. I couldn’t take it anymore and I lost all hope…

I broke up with him.

….And at this point idk what else to say. Somedays I’m glad I did it and other days I’m curious what would have happened. If we would’ve stuck it out, could we have fixed everything and atleast be friends now?

Well two days ago, I found that old backpack. I decided i’d use it. I started cleaning it out, opened the big pouch and found nothing in it, opened the side pouch and sure enough there it was. I listened to the cd that night.

That night, I cried myself to sleep…

Write one leaf about someone who loves you

May 1, 2010

I honestly don’t know who loves me or if anyone truly does. People have told me before that they love me, but other days they hate me. And who knows really. People will say anything, it doesn’t mean it’s true!

It’s an interesting thing. And I feel like I’m being hypocritical  because I’ve done this. I’ve told people I love them, but somedays I do truly hate them. No, I take that back. I don’t “truly” hate them, but it’s like I hate loving them so much. Expecially when they do things that make me mad, sad, etc.

And love is such a difficult thing. It’s hard to say what love truly is. We are brought up being told “I love you” from our parents and family members. And that’s one of the first things we hear from our mom when she first meets us and has no clue what we’re going to turn out like. So love is unconditional. But it also seems to be forced upon us. If we don’t tell our parents or anyone that we love them back then they think something is wrong with them and that we’re mad at them for something.

Love is complicated. It makes no sense. It causes ur heart to beat 10x faster than it should. Fills ur stomache with butterflies so you shake and feel like you could throw up. Your head spins and circles and you become dizzy. And yet we enjoy this feeling. It’s what so many people yurn for….that is the people who’ve never had it.

After a way though, it all goes away. And love becomes just simply being yourself and feeling comfortable around someone. Knowing them inside and out. Being honest, trust worthy, careing….and just being there for someone.

All we need is love….

Write one leaf about floppy discs

May 1, 2010

At first when I saw this one, it made me kind of mad.

I used to have a super super old computer that was a “hand-me-down” from one of my mom’s friends. It had belonged to her daughter. On it I found a whole bunch of music. Alot of it was older crap like brittany spears, etc. Then I found a folder that was “unknown.” I listened to it and ended up loving alot of the music in that folder except they were all just titled “Track 1,” etc. So when I decided to get rid of that computer and get a laptop I wanted those songs and my mom told me she’d take care of it.

Well I got my laptop and the next thing I know my mom is handing me a floppy disc saying “I put all those songs on here, but you laptop doesn’t take floppy discs.” :/  What the heck mom! That doesn’t help me at all! (I didn’t really say that to her though! I’m a good child.)

I ended up accidentally finding two of them. One of them was a super old coldplay song and the other one my sister had gotten on a burned cd from one of her friends and i recognized the song. That day I was sooo happy about that! But I’m still aggravated that the rest of the songs are pretty much lost forever! 😦